“Should Women Remain Silent”

In 1 Corinthians 14:34-35, Paul wrote: “As in all the congregations of the saints, women should remain silent in the churches. They are not allowed to speak, but must be in submission, as the Law says. If they want to inquire about something, they should ask their own husbands at home; for it is disgraceful for a woman to speak in the church” (vv. 33-35).

If we take this literally, it would mean that women are not allowed to sing in church nor respond when the pastor asks for comments or questions from the audience. Moreover, it would contradict what Paul said in chapter 11, where he said that women could pray and prophesy in church if they had the appropriate attire.

Common sense, church custom, and good principles of biblical interpretation all say that we should not take these verses literally—and almost no one does. Paul is not making a blanket prohibition that says that women can never speak in church. Rather, he was addressing his comments to a certain situation, and his comments are limited in some way. The question is, What are the limits of Paul’s prohibition? In the following paper, the doctrinal review team examines the context and looks at the details of these verses.  

A call to order

In 1 Corinthians 11, Paul begins to instruct the Corinthian church about their somewhat disorganized worship services. As we studied in our previous paper, he says that women should wear a head covering when they pray and prophesy; then he corrects the Corinthians on the way they had been observing the Lord’s Supper. In chapter 12, he addresses the proper use of spiritual gifts in the worship service. He describes a number of gifts, and insists that all gifts are important to the Body of Christ; the variety of gifts calls for mutual respect and honor, not vanity or shame.

In chapter 13, he describes love as the best way, and in chapter 14 he makes an extended contrast between the gift of tongues and the gift of prophesying. Apparently some people in Corinth were extolling the gift of tongues as a mark of superior spirituality. Paul did not tell them to stop speaking in tongues, but he did put some restrictions on how tongues should be used in the worship service:

1) There should be two or three speakers (14:27).

2) They should speak one at a time (v. 27).

3) There should be an interpretation (v. 27b). If no one can interpret the tongues, “the speaker should keep quiet in the church and speak to himself and God” (v. 28). However, this requirement should not be lifted out of its context to create a complete prohibition on the person ever speaking, singing or praying.[1]

Paul is apparently trying to give some organization to what had been a rather chaotic worship meeting—several people speaking at once, speaking words that no one could understand.

Paul recommends the gift of prophecy as a far more helpful gift, but he gives similar guidelines for those speakers, too:

1) Only two or three should speak (v. 29). If someone else has something to say, the first speaker should be quiet.[2]

2) They should speak one at a time (v. 31).

3) People should “weigh carefully what is said” (v. 29; cf. 1 Thess. 5:21).

Paul notes that “the spirits of the prophets are subject to the control of the prophets” (1 Cor. 14:32). That is, the speakers are able to stop; they cannot use “God made me do it” as an excuse for adding to the commotion.[3] When God gives a gift, he also gives the person the responsibility to make decisions to use that gift in an appropriate way. Simply having the gift is not an excuse to use it whenever and wherever the person wants to. Paul explains his reason: “For God is not a God of disorder but of peace” (v. 33).

Paul[4] then tells the women to be quiet, and to ask their questions at home: “As in all the congregations of the saints, women should remain silent in the churches. They are not allowed to speak, but must be in submission, as the Law says. If they want to inquire about something, they should ask their own husbands at home; for it is disgraceful for a woman to speak in the church” (vv. 33-35).

Commitment in Raising Children

What are the most common problems that face husbands and wives as they strive to parent their children together? 

Kyle Pruett, MD and Marsha Kline Pruett, PhD: Keeping their own relationship in suffcient repair to

cope with the sacrifices they will be making for theirkid's wellbeing for the long haul of child -rearing.

Commitment: What are ten things parents can do to enjoy a strong and successful
co-parenting alliance?

Dr. Pruett and Dr. Pruett:

1) Be prepared for the inevitable dip in marital satisfaction.

2) When you've got a complaint about your partner's management of
the kids, sleep on it, and pick a moment when you can finish the conversation.

3) Start any conversations about different opinions with "I...", not 'you...".

4) Regularly date your spouse5) Get enough sleep6) Keep your partner's strengths in the forefront of your mind

7) Make every effort to avoid sarcasm or personal attack when you are mad or hurt about your partner's co-parenting behavior

8) Protect 15 mins of 'veg out' time for each other every day

9) Make each other laugh regularly

10) Insure that your first impulse is always to support your spouse when they are going at it with your kids - if you really disagree, take it up later.

Commitment: What challenges do mothers and fathers face in raising children that
 stem from their gender differences?

Dr. Pruett and Dr. Pruett: Gender differences are probably less important than personality differences in shaping our parenting behavior.

Commitment: How can couples better understand one another so that their gender differences do not prevent them from giving their children what they need?

Dr. Pruett and Dr. Pruett: Gender itself is not a barrier; stereotypicgender-related socio-cultural expectations, such as fathers don't do diapers,mothers don't rough house, are more of the problem in limiting parent's
repetoiore of child-involvement behaviors.

Commitment: What advantages do these gender differences give the children?

Dr. Pruett and Dr. Pruett: When both parents are emotionally engaged withtheir children, kids have a stronger self-image, more problem-solving skills,
do better in school, and handle life's troubles more competently.

Commitment: When parents first take their baby home from the hospital, what
 challenges do they face in forming a successful parenting partnership? 

Dr. Pruett and Dr. Pruett: Not letting the baby's care and needs completely eclipse the existing marital relationship.

Commitment: What will enable parents to successfully cope with this stage of care taking?

Dr. Pruett and Dr. Pruett: Talk early and often with each other about your ideas about parenting, and what your dreams are for how your child's expereince will be different from-or benefit from- your own childhood experience.

Commitment: How can parents help one another feel supported in taking care of the
 children, rather than feeling like they are coping with parenting all
 alone?

Dr. Pruett and Dr. Pruett: Check in with each other every morning about how you plan to care TOGETHER for this child today - not simply talking logistics, but actually
discussing feedings, bathings, walkings, etc.

Commitment: What are some communication techniques that will help parents
 develop a strong co-parenting alliance?

Dr. Pruett and Dr. Pruett: Listening twice as often to your partner twice as often as you talk at them.

Commitment: How can mothers better value and encourage their husband's
contribution to parenting?

Dr. Pruett and Dr. Pruett: Avoid gatekeeping - controlling his relationship with the children according to your expectations of what is the 'right [i.e.your] way to parent'. Honor his unique conribution to your children's life.

Commitment: How can husbands better value and encourage their wife's
 contribution to parenting?

Dr. Pruett and Dr. Pruett: The reverse is a more common problem, but tag
teaming [supporting each other's contributions] can always be strengthened

Commitment: How can parents work together to promote their child's emotional
 development?

Dr. Pruett and Dr. Pruett: Not undermine the other parent's interventions when the child is
having strong feelings or misbehaving.

Commitment: How can parents work together to promote their child's emotional and
physical safety?

Dr. Pruett and Dr. Pruett: In the book, we take on the father's and the mother's offering differing attitudes about discipline, education, independence, spoiling and many other importing child-rearing challenges. What runs through all of our advice is the great power of ongoing  and open communication. are some issues that should be discussed and decided upon? What common problems do fathers and mothers face in agreeing upon safety issues? Mothers tend to keep their children on a shorter tether, especially when they are away from home, whereas fathers are more likely to encourage  a longer tether to support more learning about adventure and novel encounters. They tend to feel that the latter are important practice
for managing themselves in the 'real world'.

Commitment:  When it comes to education, what are some things parents can do to
 ensure that their home is a place of learning and creative growth?

Dr. Pruett and Dr. Pruett: Mothers and fathers BOTH need to be reading to their children from the time they can sit up. Many men simply leave these areas around education and language to their wives. This confuses the children who assume that dad is a teacher, too!

Commitment: What tips do you have for parents who are divorced, but still both
love their children and want a role in raising them? 

Dr. Pruett and Dr. Pruett: Co-parenting as a concept has it's roots in post-divorce parenting. This book brings the lessons learned into the marriage before trouble starts. Still, divorced parenting can benefit from the tag-team lessons taught in this book. CHildren need to be in loving relationships to thrive, and successful
coparenting shifts the odds in their behavior whether the parents are married
or not.

Prayers for My Husband-His Sexuality

Prayers from the Power of a Praying Wife by Stormie Omartian

HIS SEXUALITY – Lord, bless my husband’s sexuality and make it an area of great fulfillment for him. Restore what needs to be restored, balance what needs to be balanced. Protect us from apathy, disappointment, criticism, busyness, unforgiveness, deadness, or disinterest. I pray that we make time for one another, communicate our true feelings openly, and remain sensitive to what each other needs. Keep us sexually pure in mind and body, and close the door to anything lustful or illicit that seeks to encroach upon us. Deliver us from the bondage of past mistakes. Remove from our midst the effects of any sexual experience – in thought or deed – that happened outside of our relationship. Take away anyone or anything from our lives that would inspire temptation to infidelity. Help us to abstain from sexual immorality so that each of us will know how to possess his own vessel in sanctification and honor. I pray that we will desire each other and no one else. Show me how to make myself attractive and desirable to him and be the kind of partner he needs. I pray that neither of us will ever be tempted to think about seeking fulfillment elsewhere. I realize that an important part of my ministry to my husband is sexual. Help me to never us it as a weapon or a means of manipulation by giving and withholding it for selfish reasons. I commit this are of our lives to You, Lord. May it be continually new and alive. Make it all that You created it to be.

The Power of a Praying Wife by Stormie Omartian

• 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5
• 1 Corinthians 6:18-20; 6:13
• Proverbs 5:15-19